Julie Greene

  July 25, 1950 - April 14, 2004

What is most important to me right now is that I love you and that I want you to take this opportunity to increase your own expressions of love in your life.

Julie spent the last week of her life where she most wanted to be: leading an NVC retreat with her closest colleagues, contributing something she loved passionately, to people she loved dearly. She left for the retreat knowing that it will likely be her last opportunity to teach NVC, and that she may not live much beyond it. She was surrounded by love.

Since her diagnosis with cancer just a few weeks earlier, Julie's speech got progressively less clear, and her energy waned. Nevertheless, she spent all day, every day, engaged with the events at the retreat. Whether sitting with us or lying down - still part of the circle - her presence was remarkable. She radiated love, and expressed love repeatedly. She also remained her familiar alive, authentic, passionate and intense self all the way through. Because she was no longer able to articulate herself clearly, she chose the timing and content of her words carefully. Often she sat up simply to invite us to take a pause, to notice and integrate more fully the depth of learning and connection we were experiencing. At other times she shared condensed insights "You can't get it right!"   "Don't wait" - relentlessly inviting us to live life as a full experiment, to throw away false caution, to wake up to our full power.

As the reality of her deteriorating health became clearer to her, Julie went through waves of deep grief and frustration; she wanted to live longer because she wasn't done contributing to the world. She never expressed fear about dying, nor did she seem afraid. She was simply, and fully, grieving. Julie opened herself up to the grief, and within a few moments it would usually pass, and Julie would return to the here and now of the retreat. Her only unresolved concern was that she would live beyond when she was able to contribute to others.

Julie's presence and contribution were so palpable that none of us could have imagined she would die so soon. As part of the grace of her last week of her life, she was able to be present and active until less than 24 hours before dying. She suffered for only a few hours, and was surrounded with love until the last moment of her life. Those of us who were with her in those last weeks, days, and hours, feel enormous gratitude for the quality of connection we had in those times, and for the opportunity to support her on this final journey of her life.

Most of you know my sister as Julie Greene but her birth name was Julie Fine. She grew up in New York State and as a young adult migrated to California as a puppeteer. Julie made a life for herself on the west coast and through all the years she continually persued projects that changed others for the better. Her spirit, energy and aliveness touched so many. I am sure that each person gathering here today and who will be gathering in New York next week has been touched and spiritually uplifted by knowing Julie.

It is so comforting for me to know that Julie died with a heart that had become wide open. I know that she was part of a special community that loved her deeply and that she loved deeply in return.

Julie now smiles on all of us and in her death we are once again reminded to live life to the fullest and to keep compassion, forgivness, laughter and love in our hearts.
Julie, you will be forever missed.
Love,
Your Brother
-Marc Fine, Croton on Hudson, New York

Julie was my first NVC teacher, and inspired me to learn these beautiful ways of communicating. She touched me deeply by her smiles, gentle nudges, bright Spirit, and deep compassion and empathy. I am very grateful to have become a friend of Julie's, and deeply saddened that our friendship cannot continue. I will always carry her in my heart and hear her sweet voice reminding me how to give empathy... May her Spirit Soar!

Love, Peace and blessed healing of your heart,
-Joanie Misrack

To Dear Julie,

I am grateful I had the chance to meet with you and work with you. Your life definitely uplifted many.

You will be missed.

Warmly,

Kelly

-Kelly Bryson

Favorite Julie teaching

Julie said many words which met my need for learning about NVC. One of my favorite phrases was when she said that most emotional experience is resistance of emotion--resisting exhileration and exuberance as well as sadness and fear...that our society discouraged the open _expression of all emotion. Julie cried in class when she felt moved in response to something someone said. I was amazed and grateful to see someone cry without trying to restrain herself: also that sometimes she was crying with joy, not sadness, which I saw even more rarely in life.
-Monica Haddad

From among the many things I learned from Julie, and the variety of ways I'm grateful for the support and inspiration I received from her, I want to celebrate how she continued to live with self-awareness and choicefulness while preparing herself both for death and the possibility of a miraculous reprieve. The clarity, humor, and hope with which she embraced both possibilities simultaneously was a model for me of conscious dying as a part of conscious living. In our last conversation, the week before she transitioned, Julie gave me a final gift of receiving and expressing appreciation with a depth of transparency and connection I treasure and aspire to.
-Gail Epstein

Dear Inbal, Miki, Bill and All Others-
Still in a state of shock and disbelief. What an incomprehensible loss. Have been trying to write several times now, but none of it seems quite right.

This shock wave will be long-lasting and far-reaching. Just so hard to absorb. My thinking mind can't quite seem to take it in.

Julie left behind a legacy of such incredible devotion and dedication. She was a warrior, an unwavering force for the healing of hearts and community, for Right Livelihood, for Conscious Living. She was remarkable. What she accomplished is remarkable. I have always been in awe of her. I can still feel the feelings of amazement, respect and delight as I experienced her skill and knowledge in practice groups.

The memorial for her will be manifest in the lives of the people whose hearts and minds she touched. It will be long-lasting and far-reaching.

My most tender compassion for your grief, for this overwhelming loss- I hope you find comfort in each other.

With many blessings and great care-
-Deborah Temple

Julie had an especially beautiful, expressive voice - and a laugh which spilled out to encompass everyone around her. She once mentioned that she felt keenly associated with the wind. Since then I have many times paused to notice the soft touch of the breeze upon me - and Julie is there. In small ways, as these, Julie will remain in my heart - and, I know, in yours. My heart is with you for the celebration of Julie's most extraordinary life.
-Georgia Siegel, friend, Key West, FL.

I always loved Julie for and admired her incredible generosity of spirit and heart in giving of herself to help others, and her passionate involvement with whatever work or spiritual/emotional/practical quest she undertook. She had the gift of self-knowledge and of understanding of others. She had wisdom in overcoming difficulties and turned the hurdles of her own life, from childhood onward, toward work that was constructive and giving.
-Amy Pommier, friend, NY, NY.

Julie shared each of her passions and concerns with laughter and tears and with a storyteller's ability to make her life and experience vivid. She had a fierce human soul with great personal integrity and determination. She wanted a life that she could imagine that was moral, loving and free. In BayNVC she seems to have at last found the kind of world she was proud to be part of. I am so grateful that this is true.
-Ronna Leon, friend, Benicia, CA

For Julie -
I met Julie when we were both in our mid-20s. That s almost 30 years ago now. Julie re-invented herself on a regular basis. Even though I lived at a distance for many years, I still managed to know Julie the puppeteer and performer, Julie the swank executive secretary with an office at the top of the SF pyramid building, Julie the Trager masseuse, Julie the drugs councilor, Julie the Ph.D. candidate, and Julie the NVC organizer and teacher. I knew her as a bright, independent, curious, determined, emotional, and intense woman who did things wholeheartedly with her whole heart. She wanted living her life to make a difference and there s no doubt in my mind that it did for lots of people, including me. Julie had a strong sense of fun and playfulness and was ready and willing to follow up on crazy ideas. Many years ago, she helped me develop a concept that has become known as kazoocaling kazooing Christmas carols (since nobody ever remembers the words anyway...) If I had been able to be present for her last celebration, I would have sent her on her way with a jaunty kazoo number. Memories of her unique life and spirit will not be forgotten.
-Cathy Toscan, friend, Copenhagen, Denmark

I spoke with Julie at length the Sunday before the Intensive, so I'm aware that the tumor was advancing rapidly. I treasure the gift she gave me last week by sharing herself so fully, and modeling conscious dying as a natural extension of conscious living.
-Gail Epstein, student, Cambridge, MA

I have lit a beautiful spring green candle here, next to a bouquet of lilacs to be reminded myself of the preciousness of Julie's life, and life in general. Julie was, and will remain, a mighty force for BayNVC, and our whole network. Her unflagging dedication, compassion and energy will be very much missed throughout our network.
-Barbara Larson, NVC colleague, Seattle, WA

I have decided to follow through on my long-held plan to attend the March for Women on Washington, DC this weekend, with deeply divided feelings. I'm so glad I was able to attend two smaller gatherings this past week and hear and express my and others' love and appreciation for Julie, and yet I'm sad to miss this rich opportunity to continue to process what it means that she no longer walks among us. In her honor, I will continue to emulate her passion for sharing her gifts of doing and teaching deep listening. Her beatific smile will long stay with me.
-Nancy M. Friedman, Oakland, CA

I feel shocked and empty hearing Julie has died.
She was the very first person I spoke with
prior to my first NVC training in '99.
She encouraged me to read the book before coming;
did not mince words,
and impressed me with
the work necessary to bring about the dream
of heaven on earth
that the process of NVC represents for me.
I am mourning her presence gone.
-Katherine Chopin

Although I did not get to spend enough time with you to really know you, Julie, in the small amount of time I did have talking to you and watching you work, I was deeply touched by the quality of your presence and awed by watching you do NVC.
Ironically, this very day I was trying to reach you, after being away from NVC for two years, to get help with a difficult divorce I am going through.
A big lesson for me in just what it seems your life was about, not waiting for life, because one might not get the chance tomorrow.
You are one of those people whose impact on me was way out of proportion to the small amount of time we interacted.
Thank you, Julie.
-Glenn Makihara

Julie lives in my house, especially in the kitchen, center of the most lively family conversations -- for four years, she's been stirring up tastiness, juiciness, sweetness, and zinging away an old blandness stored in the back of the cupboards.  When I catch a glimpse of some Julie gesture and that mobile face, even now, my mouth waters for the freedom and aliveness which she dished up in overflowing abundance.  I bow in love and gratitude for her ongoing, limitless life. 
-Helen Hobart

Julie with Meganwind, Inbal, Sue, Miki

Julie singing at NVC workshop with Trager tutors, July 2000

With Michael Crear and Trager instructor Roger Tolle, July 2000

Eulogy for Julie Greene

Julie teaching. 1.5MB Photo by Ron Gibbs
Eva, Marshall, Julie. 1.5MB Photo by Ron Gibbs
Julie, Miki, Rodger. 156KB
Julie, age 10 or 11. 145KB
Julie by rocks. 507KB
Julie with puppet. 795KB
Julie in yarn store. 436KB Photo by Cathy Toscan

Please send your own personal rememberances, tributes, photos. They will be added to this page as they are received. - <bill@baynvc.org>   Also corrections and omissions...   Note: 'mail-to' feature has not been operational, and dropped mail to us without notice.  If your message has not been posted, please resubmit.